It's amazing what God tells you while you're watching fireflies.
I've been reading a book called "Jesus for President" lately. It talks a lot about our response to evil and violence.
But let me set the stage first.
Quiet night.
Deep valley.
Hundreds of fireflies dancing in and out of the grass.
Me sitting there in silence. Thinking about nothing and everything.
Me feeling loved by God. Like the fireflies were there just for me.
Then God whispers...
Annie...your love for me is not why I love you. I love you because you are my child.
Big smile.
Think of my other children, Annie.
Faces trip past my eyes. Friends. Family.
Yes. I love these. But what about the others?
Others, Lord?
The others. How many have I lost? And my heart breaks for each one of them.
Even the ones who have persecuted your people? Steeped themselves in evil?
I grieve for the loss of Timothy McVeigh...my beloved son.
My heart breaks for Jezebel, my precious daughter.
My own heart does a flip.
I wept over Saddam Hussein.
And I gave my life for the sake of Adolph Hitler.
Osama bin Laden was created in my own image.
Tears run down my face.
These are also the beloved of God.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
This year, I resolve to...
Be happy. As much as possible for as long as possible.
Not be miserable at one summer sport. The current choice is racquetball. The backup is volleyball.
Not be miserable at one winter sport. I want to try skiing and/or snowboarding. Ice skating is my backup, since I've already tried that.
Finally get my ladies choir together to do our awesome songs.
Try sushi for the first time. Hopefully with someone who knows the ropes already. Any takers?
Create the perfect Belgian chocolate custard.
Create the perfect marsala sauce.
Did I mention being happy?
Not be miserable at one summer sport. The current choice is racquetball. The backup is volleyball.
Not be miserable at one winter sport. I want to try skiing and/or snowboarding. Ice skating is my backup, since I've already tried that.
Finally get my ladies choir together to do our awesome songs.
Try sushi for the first time. Hopefully with someone who knows the ropes already. Any takers?
Create the perfect Belgian chocolate custard.
Create the perfect marsala sauce.
Did I mention being happy?
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
New Year's Resolutions
I was looking over my New Year's list from last year, and thought, you know...everyone makes the lists, but we never get to hear how they turn out. So here is mine.
January 2008
This Year, I Will...
1. Go to Cuiaba, one last time.
-and I did. And it was wonderful and horrible and irreplaceable.
2. Eat sushi.
-Never got this one accomplished. Oh well...this year!
3. Visit Jon and Gabe
-I did. And it was awesome. Thanks for being my friends, you guys. We stick together, right?
4. Cry a lot.
-*smile* Yeah...
5. See Phil Keaggy in concert again.
-Didn't get that one done either. Bummer, too! I love going to his concerts.
6. Decide what I'm going to do with my life.
-Hah!
7. Get glasses!
-Done. And they make me look very preppy, indeed.
8. Get a stamp on my passport.
-My first one! And I ended up getting two, one for Costa Rica and one for Nicaragua.
9. Smile at my friends' weddings.
-It wasn't as hard as I had thought...they were too beautiful. Emily and Heidi...you two are gems.
10. Record a song.
-I recorded two! One serious and personal, and the other ridiculous and silly. Thanks Dana and Diego. You have mad musical skills, and I am uber proud to have you in my almost-family.
11. Miss Micah.
-..................the only one that didn't take a single bit of effort.
12. Live.
-With a vengeance. :)
Stay tuned for this year's resolutions. Who cares if it's June.
January 2008
This Year, I Will...
1. Go to Cuiaba, one last time.
-and I did. And it was wonderful and horrible and irreplaceable.
2. Eat sushi.
-Never got this one accomplished. Oh well...this year!
3. Visit Jon and Gabe
-I did. And it was awesome. Thanks for being my friends, you guys. We stick together, right?
4. Cry a lot.
-*smile* Yeah...
5. See Phil Keaggy in concert again.
-Didn't get that one done either. Bummer, too! I love going to his concerts.
6. Decide what I'm going to do with my life.
-Hah!
7. Get glasses!
-Done. And they make me look very preppy, indeed.
8. Get a stamp on my passport.
-My first one! And I ended up getting two, one for Costa Rica and one for Nicaragua.
9. Smile at my friends' weddings.
-It wasn't as hard as I had thought...they were too beautiful. Emily and Heidi...you two are gems.
10. Record a song.
-I recorded two! One serious and personal, and the other ridiculous and silly. Thanks Dana and Diego. You have mad musical skills, and I am uber proud to have you in my almost-family.
11. Miss Micah.
-..................the only one that didn't take a single bit of effort.
12. Live.
-With a vengeance. :)
Stay tuned for this year's resolutions. Who cares if it's June.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Breath
I was going to tell you all to close your eyes to imagine with me, but I guess that won’t work very well. Just make sure you imagine it somehow.
Imagine that it is a hot and muggy day. The kind that makes some of your toes hate the other toes for being so warm and making them (the first toes) hot. And vice versa. The kind that makes you want to stand up all day just so you don’t have to sit and touch anything. There’s no breeze, no clouds, just hazy sunlight.
Now as you are standing there…feeling hot, sticky, and generally miserable, imagine that a storm cloud sneaks in and covers the sun, and at the same time, a cool wind whips through your hair. You can hear the leaves of the palm trees (in my imagination, they’re palm trees) rattle, and if you listen very closely, you can hear the distant roar of the mother of all rainstorms inching its way toward you across the jungle. (Again, my imagination…I like jungles.)
There’s just something about that wind. You want to feel it across every pore in your skin, through every strand of hair…you want to close your eyes, tip your head back, and throw out your arms, as if you could almost….just maybe…fly.
The word for spirit in Greek is pneuma, which means “breath.” I love that. I love that I can associate the Holy Spirit with breath, with wind…something unseen, but incredibly powerful. Something that blows away the layer of dust that collects on my soul.
Take this a little further. While you are standing there, feeling all of the mugginess of the day blow away on the wind, you begin to feel a sprinkle of water from that rainstorm that’s coming. For one small second, you consider going inside where it’s dry…but then you breathe in the misty air and think of the stuffiness inside, and it seems like your soul has grown too large to be stuffed back into that small space. So you stay. The sheets of water drench your skin. Streams and rivers run down your face. You think that you just may be crying…but the tears mix silently with the rain and run down your face together.
There’s something exultant in the way the rain pounds the earth, and when it finally stops, you feel more alive than you have in a small forever.
John 4:13-14Jesus replied, "Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life."
Imagine that it is a hot and muggy day. The kind that makes some of your toes hate the other toes for being so warm and making them (the first toes) hot. And vice versa. The kind that makes you want to stand up all day just so you don’t have to sit and touch anything. There’s no breeze, no clouds, just hazy sunlight.
Now as you are standing there…feeling hot, sticky, and generally miserable, imagine that a storm cloud sneaks in and covers the sun, and at the same time, a cool wind whips through your hair. You can hear the leaves of the palm trees (in my imagination, they’re palm trees) rattle, and if you listen very closely, you can hear the distant roar of the mother of all rainstorms inching its way toward you across the jungle. (Again, my imagination…I like jungles.)
There’s just something about that wind. You want to feel it across every pore in your skin, through every strand of hair…you want to close your eyes, tip your head back, and throw out your arms, as if you could almost….just maybe…fly.
The word for spirit in Greek is pneuma, which means “breath.” I love that. I love that I can associate the Holy Spirit with breath, with wind…something unseen, but incredibly powerful. Something that blows away the layer of dust that collects on my soul.
Take this a little further. While you are standing there, feeling all of the mugginess of the day blow away on the wind, you begin to feel a sprinkle of water from that rainstorm that’s coming. For one small second, you consider going inside where it’s dry…but then you breathe in the misty air and think of the stuffiness inside, and it seems like your soul has grown too large to be stuffed back into that small space. So you stay. The sheets of water drench your skin. Streams and rivers run down your face. You think that you just may be crying…but the tears mix silently with the rain and run down your face together.
There’s something exultant in the way the rain pounds the earth, and when it finally stops, you feel more alive than you have in a small forever.
John 4:13-14Jesus replied, "Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life."
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Restore Me to Joy
Some dear friends of mine just had their first baby. On one of my first visits I was schnuggling with the little one, and she started to cry. Mommy looked at me and said, "Well...you'll just have to restore her to joy."
I don't know why that phrase stuck with me like it did. There was just something alluring and intriguing about the way it skipped across my mind.
Restore me to joy.
That's what I really should be praying for. That God my Father would notice me and the pickles I get into...how tangled up I get in the messes of my own making. And I sit down, dejected, sticky jam on my hands, chocolate around my mouth, my toys in pieces around me...but God picks me up, washes away the stains, unrumples my rumples, wraps me in one of those oh-so-soft blankies, and schnuggles with me.
Over and over, it seems that God brings people and situations into my life to remind me that ultimately I should trust only Him. Maybe because it's a lesson that I never seem to learn. Someday, Lord...someday I will finally get it.
Until then, wipe away my stains, unrumple my rumples...
Restore me to joy.
I don't know why that phrase stuck with me like it did. There was just something alluring and intriguing about the way it skipped across my mind.
Restore me to joy.
That's what I really should be praying for. That God my Father would notice me and the pickles I get into...how tangled up I get in the messes of my own making. And I sit down, dejected, sticky jam on my hands, chocolate around my mouth, my toys in pieces around me...but God picks me up, washes away the stains, unrumples my rumples, wraps me in one of those oh-so-soft blankies, and schnuggles with me.
Over and over, it seems that God brings people and situations into my life to remind me that ultimately I should trust only Him. Maybe because it's a lesson that I never seem to learn. Someday, Lord...someday I will finally get it.
Until then, wipe away my stains, unrumple my rumples...
Restore me to joy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
